Blueberry Muffins

Two blueberry muffins are sitting inside an oven, pre heated to 400 degrees. One muffin turns to the other and says “sure is getting hot in here…..”

The other muffin, in shock exclaims “HOLY SHIT A TALKING MUFFIN!”

Recipe:

Blueberry Muffins
-2 Cups All Purpose Flour
-1 Cup Granulated Sugar
-2 Teaspoons Baking Powder
-2 Eggs
-1/2 Cup Butter, melted
-1/2 Cup Milk
-1/2 Vanilla Bean, split and scraped
-2 Cups Fresh Blueberries

Streusel
-1/4 Cup AP Flour
-4 TBS Brown Sugar
-1/4 tsp Cinnamon
-Pinch of salt
-2 TBS Cold Butter

Instructions
So first thing you’re gonna do is beat your eggs like they’re your girlfriend and they won’t shut up. Then add Sugar, Milk, Vanilla Bean, and Butter. Whisk together. Using a rubber spatula, fold in your flours until thoroughly incorporated. Finally, fold in your blueberries and there ya go.

Remind your girlfriend it was her job to line the muffin pan with cupcake liners and that you’re disappointed in her. Go ahead and do that. Grease them up fill them with the muffin batter.

In your Robo Cop, add all of the Streusel ingredients except the butter. Buzz. Buzz. Buzz. Stop! Add your cold butter. Zip. Zap. Zoom. You’re done. Top the muffin batter with streusel.

Place in oven to bake for 20 minutes. At the 10 minute mark you can give them a turn. This will yield 12 muffins and feed 6 regular people…or 2 face pieces of shit.