Thanksgiving Turkey

It’s Thanksgiving time again, and you know what that means! For me, it’s a time for expressing your love and appreciation for your family and friends through the act of cooking and feeding….and eating of course.

Unfortunately it’s also the time of year I have to listen to these over promised meal commercials. I’ve noticed, they’re always so flowery, dya’kno?

“Kissed with Cajun oil”

“Caressed with with sea salt and cracked black pepper”

It got me thinking. What if we followed this to its climax? Imagine, a recipe for Thanksgiving Turkey.

First, it’s kissed with Cajun oil and a caressed by sea salt and cracked black pepper.

Then, anally stuffed by Grandma’s dressing.

Gang banged by 7 herbs and spices.

Blasted for 15 hot and sweaty minutes per pound. Hopefully she’s Thicc.

Caressed by garlic butter.

Finish it with your gravy.

Gravy Recipe:
Remove your Turkey from the drop pan from whence, you placed it. Scrape the good bits loose from the pan. Add enough flour to make a roux from the fat. Cooking for about a minute and then slowly add water and keep on medium heat until it had thickened to your desired consistency.  Check for seasoning and adjust. Pour it all of that bird hanging out on the kitchen table. Take a picture and send it to the boys.